so, (Alastair especially) i've been working...almost completed my next chapter. it's harder work than i would like, but not for the reasons that normally are given. instead i have a problem with lack of silence and solitude. Do they exist? or are the a figment of my imagination, a hope, a wish, a reason to not get done what needs to get done? i need to take responsibility. i need to make this happen. there is nothing to blame but my own will.